Youcat commented through CCC – Question n. 408.

YOUCAT Question n. 408 - How can you live as a young Christian if you are living in a premarital relationship or have already had premarital relations?

(Youcat answer)  God loves us at every moment, in every “complicated” situation, even in a state of sin. God helps us to seek the whole truth about love and to find ways to live it more and more unambiguously and decisively.

A deepening through CCC

(CCC 1446) Christ instituted the sacrament of Penance for all sinful members of his Church: above all for those who, since Baptism, have fallen into grave sin, and have thus lost their baptismal grace and wounded ecclesial communion. It is to them that the sacrament of Penance offers a new possibility to convert and to recover the grace of justification. The Fathers of the Church present this sacrament as "the second plank [of salvation] after the shipwreck which is the loss of grace" (Tertullian, De Paenit. 4, 2: PL 1, 1343; cf. Council of Trent (1547): DS 1542).   

Reflecting and meditating 

(Youcat comment) In a conversation with a priest or a reliable, experienced Christian, young people can look for a way to live out their love with increasing integrity. They will learn that every life is a process and that, whatever has happened, they can make a new beginning with God’s help.

(CCC Comment)

(CCC 2018) Like conversion, justification has two aspects. Moved by grace, man turns toward God and away from sin, and so accepts forgiveness and righteousness from on high. (CCC 2019) Justification includes the remission of sins, sanctification, and the renewal of the inner man. (CCC 2020) Justification has been merited for us by the Passion of Christ. It is granted us through Baptism. It conforms us to the righteousness of God, who justifies us. It has for its goal the glory of God and of Christ, and the gift of eternal life. It is the most excellent work of God's mercy.          

(The next question is: Is masturbation an offense against love?)

Youcat commented through CCC – Question n. 407.

YOUCAT Question n. 407 - Why is the Church against premarital sexual relations?

(Youcat answer)  Because she would like to protect love. A person can give someone else no greater gift than himself. “I love you” means for both: “I want only you, I want all that you are, and I want to give myself to you forever!” Because that is so, we cannot, even with our bodies, really say “I love you” temporarily or on a trial basis.      

A deepening through CCC

(CCC 2350) Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.      

Reflecting and meditating 

(Youcat comment) Many people take their premarital relationships seriously. And yet there are two reservations involved that are incompatible with love: the “exit option” and the fear of a child. Because love is so great, so sacred, and so unique, the Church teaches young people the obligation to wait until they are married before they start to have sexual relations.

(CCC Comment)

(CCC 2391) Some today claim a "right to a trial marriage" where there is an intention of getting married later. However firm the purpose of those who engage in premature sexual relations may be, "the fact is that such liaisons can scarcely ensure mutual sincerity and fidelity in a relationship between a man and a woman, nor, especially, can they protect it from inconstancy of desires or whim" (CDF, Persona humana 7). Carnal union is morally legitimate only when a definitive community of life between a man and woman has been established. Human love does not tolerate "trial marriages." It demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another) Cf. FC 80).

 
(The next question is: How can you live as a young Christian if you are living in a premarital relationship or have already had premarital relations?)

Youcat commented through CCC – Question n. 406.

YOUCAT Question n. 406 - Does everybody have to be chaste, even married people?

(Youcat answer) Yes, every Christian should be loving and chaste, whether he is young or old, lives alone or is married.   

A deepening through CCC

(CCC 2394) Christ is the model of chastity. Every baptized person is called to lead a chaste life, each according to his particular state of life. (CCC 2348) All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ" (Gal 3:27), the model for all chastity. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.

Reflecting and meditating 

(Youcat comment) Not everyone is called to marriage, but everyone is called to love. We are destined to give our lives away; many do so in the form of marriage, others in the form of voluntary celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, others by living alone and yet being there for others. All human life finds its meaning in love. To be chaste means to love with an undivided heart. The unchaste person is torn and not free. Someone who loves authentically is free, strong, and good; he can devote himself in love. Thus Christ, who gave himself up completely for us and at the same time devoted himself completely to his Father in heaven, is a model of chastity, because he is the original model of strong love.

(CCC Comment)

(CCC 2349) "People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single" (CDF, Persona humana 11). Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence: There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others.... This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church  (St. Ambrose, De viduis 4, 23: PL 16, 255A).      

(The next question is: Why is the Church against premarital sexual relations?) 

Youcat commented through CCC – Question n. 405 – Part III.

YOUCAT Question n. 405 - Part III. How can anyone live a chaste life? What can help?

(Youcat answer - repeated)  Someone lives chastely when he is free to be loving and is not the slave of his drives and emotions. Anything, therefore, that helps one to become a more mature, freer, and more loving person and to form better relationships helps that person to love chastely, also.      

A deepening through CCC

(CCC 2343) Chastity has laws of growth which progress through stages marked by imperfection and too often by sin. "Man… day by day builds himself up through his many free decisions; and so he knows, loves, and accomplishes moral good by stages of growth" (FC 34). (CCC 2344) Chastity represents an eminently personal task; it also involves a cultural effort, for there is "an interdependence between personal betterment and the improvement of society" (GS 25 § 1). Chastity presupposes respect for the rights of the person, in particular the right to receive information and an education that respect the moral and spiritual dimensions of human life.     

Reflecting and meditating 

(Youcat comment) One becomes free to be loving through self-discipline, which one must acquire, practice, and maintain at every stage of life. It is helpful for me in this regard to obey God’s commandments in all situations, to avoid temptations and any form of double life or hypocrisy, and to ask God for protection against temptations and to strengthen me in love. Being able to live out a pure and undivided love is ultimately a grace and a wonderful gift of God.

(CCC Comment)

(CCC 2345) Chastity is a moral virtue. It is also a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of spiritual effort  (Cf. Gal 5:22). The Holy Spirit enables one whom the water of Baptism has regenerated to imitate the purity of Christ  (Cf. 1 Jn 3:3). 

 
(The next question is: Does everybody have to be chaste, even married people?)

Youcat commented through CCC – Question n. 405 – Part II.

YOUCAT Question n. 405 - Part II. How can anyone live a chaste life? What can help?

(Youcat answer - repeated)  Someone lives chastely when he is free to be loving and is not the slave of his drives and emotions. Anything, therefore, that helps one to become a more mature, freer, and more loving person and to form better relationships helps that person to love chastely, also.      

A deepening through CCC

(CCC 2340) Whoever wants to remain faithful to his baptismal promises and resist temptations will want to adopt the means for doing so: self-knowledge, practice of an ascesis adapted to the situations that confront him, obedience to God's commandments, exercise of the moral virtues, and fidelity to prayer. "Indeed it is through chastity that we are gathered together and led back to the unity from which we were fragmented into multiplicity" (St. Augustine, Conf. 10, 29, 40: PL 32, 796).

Reflecting and meditating 

(Youcat comment) One becomes free to be loving through self-discipline, which one must acquire, practice, and maintain at every stage of life. It is helpful for me in this regard to obey God’s commandments in all situations, to avoid temptations and any form of double life or hypocrisy, and to ask God for protection against temptations and to strengthen me in love. Being able to live out a pure and undivided love is ultimately a grace and a wonderful gift of God.

(CCC Comment)

(CCC 2342) Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life (Cf. Titus 2:1-6). The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence. 

(This question: How can anyone live a chaste life? What can help? is continued)